A Chance to Love Again Read online

  The night he’d sat in her kitchen, drinking tea of all things, with her in only a nightgown, it had all seemed so right. What had not seemed right was when he kissed her goodnight and walked out the door. It had taken him hours to cool down enough to sleep.

  If he and Big Bob worked out the deal they’d discussed, he would have something to offer a wife. A place to call home that was his. He would slowly buy Big Bob out, giving him all he’d saved so far as a down payment.

  Big Bob explained that he’d already found a house in Arizona Territory where he wanted to move his wife. Rusty’s down payment on the ranch would help to get them settled. The quarterly payments would provide their support, with enough left over to tuck away for their old age.

  “Hey, you haven’t been listening to me,” Katie whined.

  He looked down at his dance partner, surprised to find her in his arms. Certainly not the woman he wanted there. But did he desire more than that from Rachel? There was no doubt he lusted after her. And, although she tried to hide it, her attraction to him was very obvious.

  At last the final note in the number sounded. He squeezed Katie’s hand and uttered, “Thanks,” before he turned and strode to where Rachel was returning from her dance.

  “My turn, Hancock,” he said as he took Rachel’s hand and tucked her arm into his. He bent and whispered, “Let’s take a stroll outside. It’s warm in here.”

  The night air felt good on his face. But what felt better was Rachel snug against his side as they walked.

  “I’m surprised Katie let you go long enough to take a stroll. Or is that why you were warm?” In the scant moonlight, it was hard to tell if Rachel was teasing or perhaps a bit . . . jealous.

  “An annoying woman.”

  “Really? Most men think she’s quite friendly.”

  He’d had his fill of friendly women. His fiancée had been friendly, and he’d been stupid enough to believe that’s all she was. He never wanted to go through that hurt again. “I’m not most men.”

  She acknowledged his answer with a slight tilt of her head, and the ghost of a smile. They strolled past a window, and the lamplight reflected the golden highlights in her brown hair. She’d done something special with it tonight, but all he wanted to do was take it down and run his fingers through the silky waves. Watch it spill over her bare shoulders. He discreetly shook his leg to adjust his trousers.

  Other couples had decided to take the air. They passed several Rachel knew, and she stopped to introduce him. Much to his annoyance, a couple of the men gave her a more than friendly appraisal.

  They returned to the dance hall just as a waltz struck up. Not wanting another man to claim her, he took her small hand in his and led her to the dance floor. She turned in his arms and settled her palm on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her close, the scent of something flowery drifting toward him. Her smile as she gazed up at him was his undoing. He quickly moved into the steps of the dance before he made a complete idiot of himself by hauling her against his chest and kissing the hell out of her.

  The rest of the night passed with dodging Katie and trying to keep calm when several of the ranch cowboys asked Rachel to dance. Since she’d never attended any of these dances, the men were thrilled to see her enjoying herself. A little too thrilled, in some cases.

  ***

  “Did you enjoy the dance?” Rusty asked as he pulled on the reins to stop the carriage in front of Rachel’s house.

  “Yes, I did. I’m sorry I’ve missed them all these years.” A social life had never seemed important when she was so tired from cooking three meals a day for a bunch of hungry cowboys. Any energy left, she saved for her son.

  She glanced at Rusty as he wrapped the leather straps around the dash rail. The scent of soap and clean linen from his starched shirt teased her nostrils. Heat from his body where his arm touched hers in the confined space alerted her senses. Her breasts began to tingle and her woman parts grew heavy and moist.

  Not since she’d nursed Will all those years ago had her body responded to another person like this. His infant wails had set her nipples to leaking, much like her lower parts were softening now. Billy’s mere presence hadn’t given her the same reaction. Their loving had been pleasant, but nothing that she’d missed over the years.

  Something deep inside told her intimacy with Rusty would be very different. She shivered at the image of his eyes piercing her as his strong, muscular body rested atop hers, joining them in pleasure. A burst of heat started in her tummy and raced to her cheeks, sweat breaking out on her brow, almost eliciting a moan.

  “Are you cold?”

  Cold? Lord, no. She was burning up with images she had no right to have about this man who was not her husband. “No.” Her dry mouth made it difficult to get the words out.

  Rusty shifted and rested his arm on the back of the carriage seat. “It’s not that late. I could stand a snack. You have any pie at your place?”

  “I do. But do we want to take a chance on waking the kids?”

  “Absolutely not.” He leaned in close as if to tell her a great secret. “Here’s the plan. You sneak into your house, steal your own pie and hurry to my place where I’ll be making coffee.”

  Mesmerized by his closeness, she whispered, “I’d rather have tea.”

  He kissed the end of her nose. “Tea it is.”

  He jumped down and helped her out of the carriage. Before she could take a single step, he pulled her into his arms and stared at her. “You know, in the moonlight you look different, ethereal, like a nighttime nymph.”

  “I do?” Rusty was so close she could see the small stubble on his chin that he missed when he’d shaved. She fisted her hand to keep from reaching up to brush aside the hair that fell on his forehead. Her heart thumped so hard she was sure that alone would wake Will and Amelia. She had to get herself under control.

  Before her thoughts cleared, he bent his head and brushed her lips lightly with his own. “Don’t be long.”

  A slight shake of her head was all she managed before he released her and turned on his heel toward his house. She watched his familiar swagger for a moment, then taking a deep breath, she walked on shaky legs to her front door. A small lamp burned at the entrance, the only light in the house. She listened for a minute, but all was quiet.

  After checking Amelia and Will, who were both fast asleep, she took the rest of the pie from the small icebox in the kitchen and headed to the door. Resting her hand on the doorknob, she hesitated. If she walked out this door into Rusty’s house, something would change tonight. She sensed it, her insides throbbing with feelings she’d never experienced before. The awareness between them had shifted.

  Both fearful and excited at what the next step would be, she took a deep breath and twisted the doorknob.

  Chapter Nine

  Rusty waited for her in the doorway of his house. The scant light behind him illuminated his body, the dark outline mesmerizing. He lounged against the doorframe, arms crossed, his shoulder against the wood. The fluttering in Rachel’s stomach grew, waves of awareness washing over her as she moved toward him, her body like a piece of metal to his magnet.

  He straightened and reached out for the pie. “I’ll put this in the kitchen.”

  Dry-mouthed, she merely nodded and followed him inside. The sound of the door closing seemed to seal her fate. There was no going back now.

  Once he deposited the pie on the kitchen table, he turned to her and reached out. “Come here.”

  In a daze of desire, she took the few steps toward him and was immediately engulfed within his arms. “Can you feel it, sweetheart?”

  “What?” The word barely made it past her lips.

  “This.” He took her palm and placed it over his heart. “Never have I felt so terrified, so unsure of myself.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I want you so much, it hurts. It fills me up with a need so great I can’t think of anything else most of the time.�
�� He gently brushed the hair from her forehead and smiled. “I know you feel it, too. I can see it in your eyes, and how your body trembles.” His hands slid up her back, to her shoulders, and then cupped her cheeks. “My bed is merely a few steps away. However, if you don’t want this, it will be miles in the distance. I won’t force you, but be aware I will do everything in my power to convince you this is right.”

  “I want it, too,” she whispered, leaning into him. “And I’m afraid I don’t need much in the way of convincing.”

  She barely got the words out when his head descended and his lips covered hers. Softly at first, gently, small kisses, tender licks, then a full assault on her mouth that took away her breath and left her weak-kneed. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his flesh, twisting the soft cotton of his shirt.

  His tongue slid along the seam of her lips, pushing softly, easing them open. He swept in like a warrior—conquering, plundering, taking his due. Her knees buckled, and he wrapped his arms around her back, holding her against his body, the strength of his desire so very evident.

  He pulled back, but only far enough to brush kisses over her eyelids, her nose, jaw, and neck. It became harder to pull air into her lungs, to remember that breathing was important. Rusty’s lips continued down her throat to her chest, nipping, then soothing her sensitive skin. She was bent so far back, if he hadn’t been holding her firmly, she would have dropped to the floor.

  Without a word, he scooped her into his arms and crushed her against his chest. He strode out of the small kitchen and bumped the bedroom door with his hip, pushing it open. Once inside, he carried her to the bed and laid her gently on the chocolate brown quilt, as if she was a prize possession that needed careful handling.

  “I’ve dreamed about you being here next to me so many times I can’t believe this is real.” He continued to stare into her eyes as he released one pearl button, then two, then three, then all the buttons down the front of her dress. He glanced down as he opened the front of her bodice, then untied the pink ribbon at the top of her chemise, drawing it down, over her breasts.

  The cool night air puckered her nipples. Rusty drew in a sharp breath. “You are so beautiful. Even better than my dreams could have imagined.” He bent his head and took one nipple into his mouth, licking the tip, then suckling, his hand covering the other breast, massaging, feeling its weight.

  It had been so very long since she felt a man’s hands on her skin. Billy hadn’t been much for ‘warming up’ as he put it. A few kisses, a bit of handling her breasts, and then her nightgown was shoved up. While it wasn’t horrible, the experience hadn’t been very pleasurable, either.

  Already wet from Rusty’s ministrations, she was more than ready to find out what she’d been missing all those years ago. She knew in her heart that Rusty could be the one to bring her the pleasure she’d been denied.

  “I want to see all of you,” he whispered against her ear.

  He tugged her dress off her shoulders, down to her waist and over her hips. She raised her bottom to allow the dress to slide from under her. His deft fingers removed the chemise, leaving her in only her pantaloons, stockings, and shoes. He grinned at the pink ribbons holding up her stockings. “Who would have guessed the very practical mother and ranch cook wears pink garters under her dress?”

  Despite being halfway naked, the heat from Rusty’s gaze kept her temperature rising. Her eyes never left his as he slid his palm up her leg to her breast where he tweaked her nipple, then filled his hand with her soft flesh. His fingers trailed from one breast to the next, caressing, stroking. She should be embarrassed lying before him like this, but all she felt was a deep need so strong, her body ached.

  After removing her shoes, he slowly peeled her stockings down, dropping them on the floor. He stood and removed his shirt, shoes and socks, then joined her on the bed, leaning over her on his elbows. His lips sought hers, taking them in a searing kiss. Shifting his mouth one way and then the other, he continued his assault until Rachel was bereft of air.

  He pulled back and used his thumbs to caress her cheeks. “I will try to go slowly, but I’ve wanted you for so long, it might be impossible.”

  “I never knew.” His words washed over her, the thrill of his acknowledged need strengthening her own desire. To hear this strong man admit to such a craving left her a bit dazed. She ran her hands down his back, the band of his trousers stopping her exploration. His flesh was firm and warm, his skin rippling as his muscles moved beneath.

  Rusty traced the outline of her ear with his tongue, then moved down to kiss and tease the soft skin of her neck. He mumbled words of her beauty, how much he wanted her, how strong his desire was to enter her body. His hands trailed over her body, touching, caressing. The scent of his skin, remnants of the soap he’d used for his bath, and the hard evidence of his need pressing against her, shot straight to her core. Her woman’s flesh softened, causing it to weep in anticipation of his entry.

  “Baby, I can’t wait much longer.” He used both hands to yank down her pantaloons and fling them off the bed. He rose and quickly undid his pants, removing them and his drawers in one quick movement. He hesitated for a moment, just staring down at her. She extended her arms, an invitation offered, and he joined her.

  Once he settled next to her, his fingers found her wetness and he grunted his approval. “Since I believe in ladies first . . .” He played with her lips, teasing with his tongue as he worked the flesh between her legs. The sound of the moistness and feel of his attentions to her pleasure tightened her muscles. She became restless, reaching for whatever it was on the other side of Rusty’s ministrations.

  “That’s it, sweetheart, relax, let go. Show me how you break apart in my arms.”

  Not sure what he meant, all she knew was the feeling of heading toward something wondrous, like a caged animal finally set free. Her panting increased, and she pushed against his hand, seeking the relief only he could give. “Oh, please.”

  “Shh. Easy.” He covered her breast with his mouth and suckled. Rachel’s world spun out of control and strong waves of pleasure rolled over her, one after another. She tossed her head back and forth until she was spent, languid, as if all the bones had been sucked out of her body.

  Rusty shifted over her, easing her legs apart with his knee. “Ah, sweetheart, you look so beautiful.” He smoothed the damp curls from her face and cupping her cheeks, kissed her once more. Reaching down, he placed his hands under her bottom and shifted her up a bit. The feeling of him sliding inside of her brought her back from her languor, her earlier anticipation returning.

  “You feel so good,” she whispered, amazed at how raspy her voice sounded.

  “Not as good as you do. I hope I can hold out, but it doesn’t seem I’ll be able to.” He panted out his last few words, and then picked up his rhythm until Rachel again felt the tightening of her muscles, and all her concentration centered on one spot. She cried out her release just as Rusty threw his head back and groaned, pouring his essence into her.

  He collapsed over her, then quickly rolled, tucking her against his side. The cool air felt good on her sweat-soaked body. So this was what all the fuss was about. She’d always wondered why her Aunt Tori wore such a happy expression all the time. Even her sister-in-law Heidi gazed on her brother Michael a certain way that always had Rachel wondering.

  Rusty took her chin in his fingers and turned her head toward him. “That was your first time, wasn’t it?”

  “What do you mean? I’m a mother.”

  “Ah, sweetheart, I don’t mean the first time you made love with a man. But the first time you reached your woman’s pleasure.”

  She ducked her head, blushing, even though what they’d just done was far more intimate than his question. But for some reason she felt innocent, and in other ways downright stupid.

  “It’s all right. I’m happy to be the man who gave you what every woman should have.”

  “I need to get dressed and leave.” She loo
ked up at him, his head blocking the light from the lamp behind him, shadowing his face. “We never had the pie.”

  “I’m feeling quite a bit like I’ve already had my dessert, but I’ll never pass up a piece of your apple pie.”

  Rachel wrapped the sheet around her body and excused herself to hurry behind the screen to clean up while Rusty dressed. “Can you throw my clothes over the screen, please?” She hadn’t reached the point yet where she was comfortable walking out from behind the screen, naked.

  “Sure.” Within moments her clothes were draped over the screen. “I’ll go make some coffee.”

  “Tea.”

  “Right.”

  She was amazed to realize when she joined Rusty in the kitchen, she felt so at ease with him. Any awkwardness she’d expected had vanished, once she’d put her clothes on. He reached for her as she entered the room and pulled her against him. “You are one incredible woman.”

  His words brought a blush to her face.

  “Don’t try to wiggle away.” He lifted her chin with his index finger. “I make it a policy to never take to bed a certain type of woman. We need to have a serious conversation soon.”

  What did he mean by that? And what ‘type of woman’ category did she fall into? Before she could question him, a knock sounded at the door, making both of them jump apart like adolescents caught by an adult.

  The door slowly opened and Amelia stuck her head in. “Where is everybody? I thought the dance was over at ten o’clock.”

  Rusty released Rachel and pulled out a kitchen chair. “It was. Mrs. Stevens and I were just going to have a piece of pie. Do you want to join us?”

  The girl shook her head and gave a loud yawn. “No thank you. I just wanted to see where Rachel was. Good night.” She turned and headed back out the door before they could respond.

  They grinned at each other, then worked side by side as they made tea and enjoyed the pie.